7 Fun Ways to Help Your Anxious Child
If your child suffers from anxiety or fears, you probably have witnessed their avoidance of activities or leaving the house, shyness, extremes in energy or lack thereof, and their difficulty adjusting to new or unplanned situations. Living with anxiety is challenging and overwhelming for not only the child who experiences it, but also their parent who may not know how to best respond and help. Often, it can cause stress and frustration for the parent. Luckily, there are many ways the parent can help their child. Research has shown that the first step in helping a child with their big feeling is to name and okay it. This helps helps the child feel understood and prevents them from feeling bad for having the feeling. Neuroscientists have found that there are certain neurons (called “mirror neurons”) that light up in both the parent and child when the caregiver verbally empathizes with their child. When you okay the feeling, the child will also be more receptive to engaging in the tools to help them reduce or eliminate the anxiety.
Below are 7 of my favorite anxiety reducing games that you as a parent or caregiver can use to help your anxious child. They can be used on children ages 3-17, though teens may not be as interested in all of these activities. As with anything, find which tools work best for your individual child.
1. Blowing Bubbles
This exercise can get a little messy, but it is helpful because it forces the child to take big breaths, which relaxes the nervous system and slows down anxious thoughts. Take turns blowing bubbles and show your child how to breathe into their belly slowly, then exhale slowly and carefully so as to maintain a slow rhythm and create as many bubbles as possible.
2. Robot – Ragdoll
Young kids love this because it involves pretend play. First ask the child to show you what a robot acts and walks like (pretending with them is strongly encouraged). Ask them how do robots move their arms, feet, head, etc. Then you ask them the same about a Ragdoll. You can also ask them what is different about the two. This teaches children the difference between tense and relaxed muscles and helps to relax the body by teaching the muscles how to relax.
3. Imaginary Calm Place
This relaxation skill is great for bedtime anxiety. Guide your child to imagine a calm place such as a beach, the clouds, a fairytale place or any relaxing place of their choice. Have them imagine being there and to think about what it looks like; what colors they see, what they feel (such as warmth from the sun or wind), what relaxing sounds would they want to hear (like wind, rain, bells, etc.) and to imagine that this place fills their body with relaxation.
4. Favorites
When you think about your favorite color, food, super hero, candy, or hobby, how do you feel? Asking your child about their favorite things helps them get their mind off of their worries and into more positive thinking. Tell your child about your favorite things as well. Furthermore, It improves their motivation to engage with you and builds a stronger relationship between you two.
5. The Senses Game
Anxiety involves fear and thinking about the future. Therefore, this exercise reduces anxiety by helping the child to focus on the present. Ask your child questions about their environment. Incorporate all the senses. Some examples include: How many trees do they see? What colors? How many square shaped items? Can they see the purple flower? Can they smell anything? How many sounds can they hear?
6. “Stretchy” Yoga
Anxiety in children can appear like hyperactivity or underactivity. Hence, by stretching the body in slow and controlled movements you are teaching the child to activate their body while also maintaining a steady rhythm so as to not overstimulate them. Make it fun by challenging their balance with poses like Warrior 1 and 2 or Tree pose.
7. Silly Time
When a child is anxious, their mind is spinning with negative thoughts and worries. Laughter is a great tool for decreasing anxiety, increasing confidence, and improving your relationship with your child. Silly time is all about laughter and having fun. Using jokes, acting like an animal, dancing goofy, making silly faces and tickling are some great ways to do this.
The Awesome thing about these activities is that they are not just for your child, but for you as well! Playing these games with your child are great for reducing your own stress and increasing enjoyment in your life. Have fun! Be creative in modifying these activities to fit your and your child’s interests. You will be amazed at how big a difference it makes in your child’s mood.
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Vanessa Palomera, MA, LMFT is a psychotherapist who supports parents with their sensitive children. If you are interested in specialized treatment for anxiety, feel free to contact her for more information or click here to learn more about her services.